Today was a bad day
by phelipa
Summary: How do one of Dr. Addison Sheppards best days become one of her worst? Read and see...actually it's not against Addi, I love her...just read it and see. Some DerAddi fluff Doc CONTINUED!
1. Chapter 1: Bad Day

**No Longer a one shot! Please enjoy and R&R! Thanks everyone, enjoy the story.**

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Today was a bad day

_Addison Sheppard_

Chapter 1: Bad Day

Today didn't start out as a bad day; it actually started out as a really good day. Derek and I hadn't had a fight in over a week, Meredith had been off work for the past week, Doc hadn't chewed every pair of expensive shoes I owned and I'd been getting work done at a steady but not hectic pace.

So how did it turn into such a bad day? Well, let's start at the beginning…

I kissed Derek good morning, let Doc out the trailer door and watched him romp around in the snow then began making breakfast, bacon, eggs and French toast. Derek smiled at my attempt at being domestic. I was an excellent surgeon, but domestic I was not. Derek however accepted the watery eggs and very crisp bacon and toast, eating them without a complaint. I however threw out my portion and fished out a bowl of fruit loops. Fruit loops were my one weakness, I turned down doughnuts, left pizza untouched, but fruit loops were my safety food.

By that time Doc was whining at the door. I let him in, wiped his paws and set him free in the trailer. He gave my cheek a sincere lick then threw himself on Derek, who rubbed his furry head in response. I leaned against the counter and smiled, this was my family. Derek caught me looking at them and gave a lopsided grin, pushing Doc off of his chest.

He grasped my waist and hoisted me over his shoulder. Ignoring my protests, he dragged me out into the snow then dropped me to a standing position next to him.

"Isn't it beautiful Addi?" He inquired, looking across our land.

I nodded; the trees were coated in a new thick layer of white snow and tiny icicles hung from the bare branches. Apart from Doc's paw prints the area was untouched; it was a serene picture of nature at its best.

Hopping from one foot to another, trying to keep my bare feet out of the snow, I coaxed Derek back into the house. He kissed me roughly as we got into the doorway.

"'Love you Addi." He murmured in my ear.

I shifted playfully, his warm breath tickled my neck and I let out a tiny laugh. I pushed him off of me saying,

"Derek, we both have to be at work in just over an hour. I need to get dressed."

His look said it all but he allowed me to shower and change into pinstriped slacks with a green blouse. I let my auburn hair tumble over my thin shoulders, Derek said he liked it better that way anyways.

Sure enough, as I helped him tie his tie (I couldn't see how he'd worn a tie living with Meredith.) He ran his fingers through my long tresses and said,

"You look gorgeous Addi."

I smiled, lifting only the left side of my lip and murmured that we should be going. He agreed and we climbed into the car, leaving a distressed Doc inside the trailer. I would've been willing to bet that when we got home the trailer was a mess, but I kept my mouth shut. I had asked for the dog so I had no right to complain.

As we pulled up at the hospital Derek whistled happily and I took his hand then we walked into the hospital together.

There we parted, Derek going to his neuro-whatever section and I off to my neo natal unit. Pulling the white frock over my outfit, I felt good. Checking my files I saw that they were mainly simple cases that would need few meds and a lot of comfort.

By noon I had delivered 2 healthy baby girls and sent one of my patients home. My smile stayed on as I met with new patients and answered anxious mothers' questions about their newborns.

At lunch I met Derek and we went out to the local restaurant. Both of us were still in a fabulous mood and I enjoyed it thoroughly, knowing Derek did as well. When we returned to the hospital I promised to meet him before we went home, I knew I would be out early as I only had pre natal check ups in the afternoons.

Humming softly I gathered my afternoon files and began sifting through them. Mary, one of the nurses tapped lightly on my door and poked her head in.

"Sorry to bug you Dr. Montgomery Sheppard, but you left one of your files behind and the woman's here for her appointment, she's in exam room one."

I thanked her and took the file, glancing at the information. Late twenties…first child…maybe three months pregnant. My eyes brushed over the details until I happened upon the name. The file fell from my hands and I left it there in the middle of the desk, Walking stiffly, I pushed the door open and wandered down the hall. My hand closed over the cold handle on exam room one and I said a silent prayer as I stepped into the room.

No use, there on the exam room table sat…

Meredith Grey.

Yes, today was a very, very bad day.

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_You stand in the line just to hit a new low_

_You're faking a smile with the coffee to go_

_You tell me your life's been way off line_

_You're falling to pieces everytime_

_And I don't need no carryin' on_

_Cause you had a bad day_

_You're taking one down_

_You sing a sad song just to turn it around_

_You say you don't know_

_You tell me don't lie_

_You work at a smile and you go for a ride_

_You had a bad day_

_The camera don't lie_

_You're coming back down and you really don't mind_

_You had a bad day_

"_Bad Day" Daniel Powter _


	2. Chapter 2: Fallen

**AN: I have decided to continue this story. Did any of you watch Oprah yesterday? I especially enjoyed Addison's comment, "Derek and I should definitely be together, I mean we would have gorgeous children! And I could, like, deliver my own baby! You don't see that every day!" Had to laugh and cheer at that, go ADDEK! Also, a little freaky that Justin Chambers has 5 kids…he looks so young! Anyways, enjoy the story.**

**Oh! Check out my Derek Addi forum in my profile. Go to my profile click my forums and come one in! Also did a bit of a time change, this is not right after Derek left Meredith!**

**It's a short-ish chapter but enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own GA or the characters**

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Chapter 2: Fallen

I found out within the first ten minutes of the appointment, why Meredith had come to see me. She was almost four months pregnant and during the first ultrasound they had discovered the child was sick, it had a heart defect. She wanted an abortion.

As soon as she said it, my heart seemed to have torn in two. I could barely contain the anger I felt as I suggested other options. She seemed set on the idea of an abortion until I brought up adoption. She didn't want the baby but she didn't want to harm it either, I could see it in her eyes. I couldn't help but agree she wasn't ready to have a child, but really? An abortion?

At three and a half months I was almost 100 sure Derek wasn't the father. Unless he had slept with her after we had made up it wasn't his. My thoughts were confirmed when Meredith told me who the father was, "Either that guy I picked up at a bar, or…" She stopped and I waited, semi patiently. "Yeah, it was a guy from Joe's." I stared, not believing what she was telling me. However, I simply nodded and tried to explain how we could help the child. Meanwhile my mind was racing. If she couldn't tell me who the father was who's to say it wasn't Derek's?

After our appointment she seemed to feel more settled and took home a handful of pamphlets. I on the other hand was a mess. I couldn't even wait for Derek; I drove to the trailer alone, my hands clamped angrily over the steering wheel. It wasn't that I had anything against free will; it's just that I had a hard time with abortions for…personal reasons.

When I made it home Doc heaved himself at me, trying to get out the door. I let him out and back in again then sunk into the couch pulling a blanket over myself. Doc jumped up next to me and settled himself against my thigh. I stroked his ears as I began to talk.

"You know what Doc, it's not fair. Why would someone like Meredith get pregnant? Why wouldn't someone like me get pregnant? It isn't like we didn't try Doc, but after three in vitro and three miscarriages I couldn't take it."

Doc whined sympathetically and licked my hand as a tear slipped out of the corner of my eye.

"We even got pregnant twice, by accident. I lost those ones too. We saw a fertility specialist, nothing worked."

Doc looked at me, his soulful eyes boring a hole through me.

"Y'know Doc, that may be why I slept with Mark. It was too hard to deal with it and Derek at the same time, so I looked for another release."

I trailed my fingers through Doc's fur and I heard Derek's truck pull up in front of the trailer.

When he came in I saw his face was lined with worry, "Addison? Addi, where are you?"

I sat up, "I'm here Derek."

He suddenly looked angry, "Addison! You said you were going to wait, the nurses told me you stormed out of there with no warning. You could've been hurt!"

He stopped when he noticed the tears in my eyes. "Addi? What is it?"

I shook my head, "Nothing Derek." My voice came out colder than I had anticipated and he struck back.

"Nothing Addi? Last time it was nothing I found you sleeping with my best friend? Who is it now huh?"

My cheeks flushed with anger and I was suddenly on my feet, "You can't let it go can you? You can't understand what I was feeling Derek!"

He ran his fingers through his hair, his trademark action of frustration, "Addison, I was feeling the same way you were."

I sat back down on the couch, comforting the disgruntled Doc. "Let it go Derek."

I heard him hit something then he turned back to face me, "Damn it Addi, I was trying to be understanding."

I felt a hard lump well up in my throat again and turned so he couldn't see the fresh glisten of tears. Too late, he sat down and touched my arm. I pulled away until he dropped his hand, "What is it Addi?"

I couldn't look at him, "Meredith is pregnant."

Whatever I had been expecting, it wasn't what he did next. I felt his arms wrap around me and he pushed my head down on his shoulder. The simple act of kindness, an act a husband would do with his wife, brought my wall of strength crumbling down. A sharp sob broke through and I allowed the tears to fall freely.

He stroked my hair, trying to comfort me. He whispered in my ear, trying to console me, but I cried harder.

"Sh, sh, it's ok." He murmured.

I could hear the tremor in his voice as well, and when I looked up I saw that his eyes were glistening slightly as well.

"Derek, why can't we have a baby?" I whispered.

He shook his head, "Addi, we've tried. Every time we've lost a baby it's driven us farther apart."

I chewed on my lip and wiped anxiously at the tears. I knew he was right but the last time we had tried to have a baby had been over a couple years ago. I told him so and his face became pained.

"Addi, we can't have a baby. We're not exactly in the most stable position."

I nodded, but turned away, looking at Doc who was sitting patiently, watching the both of us. I stroked his ears and chuckled as he leaned in for more.

Derek slipped his arm around me and kissed my cheek, "It's going to be ok Addi. I promise."

I nodded, swallowing hard before answering him, "Derek, I'm sorry. I want you to have a DNA test."

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_Truth be told I've tried my best  
But somewhere along the way  
I got caught up in all there was to offer  
And the cost was so much more than I could bear_

Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...

_"Fallen" Sarah McLachlan_


	3. Chapter 3: What if

**AN: Hey everyone, sorry it took so long, this story got put on the back burner for a while…writers block. Anyways, enjoy the new chapter. I hopw you like it! And please R&R! I really appreciate your reviews.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own GA or Kit's Law**

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Chapter 3: What if

I went to bed alone, Derek was pissed at me…again. He said he was angry I couldn't trust him. Right, like he could trust me! Ultimately I knew it was Meredith's decision whether she wanted the baby's DNA tested, but I felt certain I could convince her. I climbed into the small bed in the back of the trailer while Derek sat up on the couch.

Doc wandered in and I patted the bed, inviting him up. He leapt up and snuggled down next to me, the scent of dog filling my nose. I pushed him over to the other side of the bed and curled up with Kit's Law, my latest novel.

I loved to read, I loved to fall into hidden worlds that only I could discover. As I read on through the chapters I heard Derek rustling around in the "kitchen" then heard him enter the bedroom, if you could call it that.

He pulled his side of the sheets back and slid in between the covers, pushing Doc over into my lap.

"Derek, push him off if you don't want him here."

"You wanted him on here Addison." He said coldly before turning over and turning his light off.

I coaxed Doc off the bed, into his own and proceeded to read. I read Derek's breathing slow down and I knew he was asleep. Placing the book on the bedside table, I turned the light off and draped my hand over the side of the bed. Doc would whine in the dark if I didn't have my hand lying next to him. It was a bad habit, but I had done it since the first night he'd been with us and I couldn't stop now.

I felt his warm, doggy breath on my hand and I sighed sleepily. I couldn't understand why Derek couldn't let it go.

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The next morning Derek insisted on giving me the cold shoulder. It was beginning to upset me and I told him so, he replied

"Should've thought of that sooner Addison Sheppard."

Addison! Addison Sheppard? Since when did he call me Addison Sheppard? Oh, right…since last night. It was always Addi or just plain Addison or some other ridiculous nick name, never Addison Sheppard.

I sat in the passenger seat on the way to work and when we got onto the ferry I climbed out, letting the cool wind blow through my hair. I stood at the edge of the boat, looking into the deep blue waters beneath up.

I felt angry and upset, but mostly hurt. I needed Derek right now and he was off sulking, I needed him to tell me he loved me and assure me that Meredith wasn't pregnant with his baby. It hurt most to think that Derek could go off with another woman and have a baby, a baby that we couldn't have.

I climbed back into the car as we reached the shore and turned to look out my window. Derek accepted the silence and drove to work, keeping his distance. I didn't speak as we walked into work, but went up to the maternity floor and pulled on my infamous salmon scrubs.

I sifted through the notes people had left on my desk, returned calls and read up on heart defects and paternity tests. Gathering pamphlets I checked the clock then exited, it was time for my appointment with Meredith.

I entered the exam room and saw Meredith sitting rather awkwardly on the table with a hospital gown on. I sat down in the chair in front of her and pulled some papers, which had been faxed to me, out of her file.

"Alright Meredith, I got your previous obstetrician to send me the file he'd kept for you before and looking over these papers has made it easier for me to diagnose your baby. He sent me the video of the ultrasound which I looked at, the waves helped show us a congenital heart defect, more specifically a ventricular septal defect. This means…actually I'm sure you know what it means, but basically the baby has a hole in the tissue dividing its right and left ventricle, making the heart beat faster and sometimes irregularly. Basically the heart is working harder than it's supposed to."

Meredith suddenly looked teary. No don't cry…please don't cry…oh crap, I thought as suddenly the tears spilled over. I lay a hand awkwardly on her arm as she wiped anxiously at the tears,

"Sorry, I'm sorry Dr. Sheppard."

I shook my head, trying to smile. "It's ok, it's normal. Nothing to be sorry about."

She took a deep breath, "The prognosis?"

"Good, really good. Though the hole is slightly larger than normal, minimal surgery as soon as he or she is born will help close the hole and restore normal function. Usually these holes can close on their own; this baby's however is already large enough that we have to consider surgery."

"Open heart surgery? As soon as it's born!"

I nodded slowly, "I know it sounds scary but it has minimal complications and with Dr. Burke handling the case it has minimal risks."

She licked her lips slowly, "Ok, I…I'll think about it, I guess."

She handed me a second set of papers, to go with the ones I'd been holding. "I think you might want to have a look at these, more for personal reasons than doctoral."

I took them and flipped through them, "What is it?"

She hesitated, "A paternity test. I thought you might want to confirm that it wasn't Derek, I wanted to confirm it was the father…it was who I thought."

I felt wave after wave of relief as I looked at the name printed on the page, _Specimen A: Tim Ryerson._

I suddenly felt the hostility drain away. I knew it was horrible but I felt as though I couldn't treat Meredith as I treated others when my husband was a possible father. I slipped the pamphlets I'd pulled out to the back of the binder, no need to aggravate her if she'd already had a paternity test.

"Does he know yet?"

Meredith shrugged, "I think he suspects something but I haven't told him outright."

I nodded, "Any other problems so far?"

"Bailey?"

I had to laugh, "How so?"

"You try being pregnant and working with Bailey, especially when she suspects something that you haven't told her."

"I'll talk to her, I won't tell her but I'll let her know she needs to lighten up. Anything else?"

She shook her head, "Not really, the usual, you know…cramps, morning sickness, bloating, sore legs, cravings…"

As soon as she said "you know" I felt my muscles tighten…no I didn't know, I couldn't know. It just wasn't fair…not fair at all.

I pushed through my thoughts, "Well, everything sounds as though it's normal then. I'd like you to set up an appointment with me in two weeks for an ultrasound; you'll be…exactly four months then." I said after checking her file. "I'd also like to talk to Dr. Burke if that's alright with you."

She hesitated, "As long as you do it discreetly, I don't really want anyone knowing until I've spoken to Tim."

I nodded, "Of course. Now, have you had any more thoughts on the baby's outcome?"

She thought for a moment, "I…I don't want an abortion, but, I don't really want a baby right now. I have to talk to Tim but I really think that adoption is best."

"Ok, Meredith. When you are talking to Tim though, you make sure you tell him what you want too, don't let him make this decision for you."

She nodded, "I won't. Thank you Dr. Sheppard."

I smiled, "No problem."

I suddenly held up the paper, "And Meredith, thank you."

She nodded and gave a small smile as I left the room.

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That afternoon I went in search of Derek. I needed to apologize and he needed to listen. Unfortunately he was booked in an OR all afternoon so I wouldn't be able to speak to him until later that evening.

I returned to the maternity ward and set about my daily tasks. Checking my schedule I saw I had a scheduled fibroid extraction and a c section for that afternoon. I took the women's charts and visited them each, answering their questions and soothing their nerves.

We did the fibroid extraction first; it was a basic surgery that I'd preformed many times. This one was almost text book and I finished quickly, sending Dr. Stevens after her to keep an eye on her recovery.

The c section proved to be more difficult, because the mother was awake she was slightly panicked and we had to calm her before starting the operation. The baby was turned in an awkward position and I didn't realize until we were in there that its cord was wrapped firmly around the neck. I called for a second doctor and together we managed to get the cord off, pulling the child carefully from its mother. Its face bore a blue tinge but it cried readily as we held it up.

"It's a girl!" I cried behind my mask.

The mother and father were both ecstatic and in tears. We cleaned up the baby, waited until its color returned then handed her to her father.

"Do you have a name dad?" I asked as I placed her in his arms.

He nodded, "Her name's Naomi, Naomi Kristin."

I smiled behind my mask as I went back to the mother, suturing the exposed flesh of her stomach.

The rest of the surgery went as planned and soon both baby and mother were moved to recovery. I sighed taking my scrub and gloves off then tossing them in the soiled linens container.

I turned my neck and rested my hands on my back, surgery was stressful at times. I wandered past the nursery and smiled as I saw the new baby, all pink and bundled up, in her bassinet.

I kept going until I made it to my earlier patient's room.

I knocked gently before entering. She was resting quietly in her bed and looked up as I came in.

"How're you feeling?" I asked.

She shrugged, "A little nauseous, but ok."

I nodded, "Has your husband been by yet?"

She nodded in reply, "He was up earlier but he had to go put our son to bed, he's staying with my sister."

I smiled, "Great. Well, Dr. Stevens said you're doing well and you seem to be recovering nicely. We'll keep an eye on you for the next 48 hours or so them you should be able to be released."

She managed a small smile, "Thanks Dr. Sheppard."

I nodded, leaving quietly and glancing at the clock. Wow, nine o'clock already? I thought. I changed quickly them made my way down to Derek's office. He was sitting at his desk massaging his temples slowly.

I sat down in the chair in front of him, "So I saw Meredith today."

He looked up carefully, "mmhmm?"

I nodded, "She got a paternity test already. It wasn't you."

"I could've told you that."

I nodded again, "I know…and that's why I came, to apologize. I wanted to say I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions and I hope you can forgive me."

He looked at me carefully, trying to see if I was genuine. Finally he looked away, "Ok, it's ok."

I managed a meek smile, "Thank you. It's just…it's hard."

He didn't return my smile, "I know Addi, I know."

I felt the hard lump in my throat and turned away slowly, so not to let him see my tears.

He stood up slowly and knelt down in front of me, taking my chin in his hands, "It's going to be ok Addison, and we're going to work it out."

I blinked furiously and chewed on my lip, well, if Derek was willing to try…then so was I.

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_What if there was no lie  
Nothing wrong, nothing right  
What if there was no time  
And no reason, or rhyme  
What if you should decide  
That you don't want me there by your side  
That you don't want me there in your life  
What if I got it wrong  
And no poem or song  
Could put right what I got wrong  
Or make you feel I belong_

What if you should decide  
That you don't want me there by your side  
That you don't want me there in your life

"_What if" Coldplay_


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